shadow skin self-portrait

shadow skin self-portrait

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Monju Bosatsu

This morning I woke up from a Dream in which Monju Bosatsu, Japanese Buddhist Patron of Education, Enlightenment, and Wisdom, had decided to extend His aid to me after observing my explorations regarding Neri (ref. prev. post), for which I am very grateful. Apparently my Aptitudes for Studies, Contemplation, and Creative Synthesis are still in sound shape enough that this is the best course for me now. Cool!

Neri

At 3:30am on Saturday, May 27, 2017, my Dream. I had helped discover, preserve, and protect a gorge in Ethiopia that was carved with niches featuring figures of Tribal Totems and Deities that foreshadowed the later Myths of Nubian Sudan and Egypt, such as Isis, Osiris, Horus, Hathor, and Ptah. However, my personal favorite figure was actually independent of that legacy, and called Neri, like the Neri River in Ethiopia. This figure was a petrified tree stump carved to have a woman's face from which ancient tree roots cascaded down the cliff into the river at the bottom of the gorge. This figure called Neri represented the Mother of All Life. I loved it! Neri in Hebrew means The Light of God, and in Latin means Blacks. I have yet to find a direct translation from Amharic ironically. Since I had that dream through yesterday evening, I have been looking up all sorts of stuff on Ethiopia. For example, the Omo Kibish Formation fossils of Homo sapiens are the oldest of our kind, dating back 195,000 years! Ethiopia was the second country to convert to (Original / Byzantine) Christianity after Armenia had been the first, and since then has developed a rich lore of Indigenous Animistic Traditions, Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant Christianity, and Islam. I love the Amhairc Language and its Ge'ez Script, the Negarit Drums, Neleta Veils, Leather Magic Scrolls, and many other components of Ethiopian material culture. It has been fun to get a vicarious glimpse of this distant culture I've known so little about. As for Neri, I have, of course, designed a Vevre for Her, as well as a Casting System (for Oracles and Gris-Gris) inspired by various facets of Animistic Belief in the K/Cushitic Region of the African Continent that I feel has a Global Appeal. I will probably share my work at some point in the nearish future when I have the time and coordination to make a reasonably pretty presentation thereof.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Natural Beauty Spots in North Carolina

Amazing areas of Natural Beauty in North Carolina's stretch of the Appalachians that are attracting me a great deal for hiking and camping (tent camping is definitely available; have not clarified cabin rental possibilities in the area as of yet) purposes in the eventual future are South Mountains State Park https://www.ncparks.gov/south-mountains-state-park which is about an hour's drive or so one way from Charlotte and near other points of historical interest such as Valdese, and Gorges State Park https://www.ncparks.gov/gorges-state-park in gorgeous Transylvania County in the outskirts of the magnificent Nantahala Forest just over an hour's drive or so one way from Asheville, which is about a 2 hour drive from Charlotte (Note: driving to Gorges State Park directly from Charlotte takes over two and a half hours one way). Both of these parks are very rugged with lots of waterfalls, etc., and offer a generous range of ability access and accommodations, so I would be able to enjoy these parks no matter how I felt on any given day. The beaches in the Wilmington area along the Atlantic Coast are also especially attractive!

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Cabin Kits

I am very interested in Cabin Kits. Here's just one example that gives pretty much the full range of possibilities. Not that I have money for anything, but the prices are VERY viable through MOST cabin kit companies. That 'own a sweet cabin outright for the cost of the lowest down on a meh house you'll be paying off for the rest of your life' (especially where I come from lol) kind of viable. Happy Thoughts! http://conestogalogcabins.com/

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Inland Sea Survival

So, IF Louisiana does not successfully repel Trump's sabotage of Coastal Restoration while we're already in a race against melting polar caps and rising sea levels on a global scale, then what will most likely happen over time is a premature partial but significant return to the North American Interior Seaway because all that land is still naturally formed to accommodate that much water that way at any point. Note that the 'Interior Highlands' / Ouachita and Ozark Mountains of Arkansas and Missouri that lay North of Louisiana are a part of Appalachia, which is what remains above water in Eastern North America. They did indeed stray from the Appalachian Mountains to their current location millions of years ago, and are thus still part of that oldest mountain chain in the world. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Interior_Seaway ALL of the Local Native American Tribes, along with their customs and traditions, are directly related to the Native Heritages of both the Ouachita - Ozark and Appalachian Regions. Original survival skills throughout SELA have been adapted between Mountain (inc. Caves) Forest Lake / River Life and Sea Level Bayou and Woodland Life. The ancient Mississippi Moundbuilder Culture actually began in Louisiana, then migrated up through the Mississippi River Valley and into the Ohio River Valley. It would behoove folks who are interested in living Naturally to consider Transferable Wilderness Survival Skills to accommodate Mountain Living around the perimeter of that migration path. I suggest this not to encourage apocalyptic thinking so much as to use Wilderness Diversity Awareness as a means for understanding how the continent we live on handles climate changes and other types of less > un natural inundations, and how we can work with that in order to live more wisely and to mutual benefit.
Because Barnes & Noble doesn't always carry this on the remainder tables for about $8.00 anymore, here it is available in legit form for free online in .pdf format: U.S. Army Survival Manual FM 21-76 http://www.equipped.com/fm21-76.htm It's ridiculous how most links supposedly providing this long time well known much loved and respected text lead instead to cyberfollies couched in code games cliché of Neal Stephenson fans (generally I don't hold authors accountable for their fans' behaviors). It would be so nice for nerds to be through being cool ;) so as to possibly be a bit more useful again right now. (sigh)

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

My Positives and Purpose As Is Here And Now

My Positives and Purpose As Is Here And Now: Regardless of how I'm feeling physically, these positive things about me are consistent nearly all the time. I am honest, caring, kind, devoted, loyal, faithful, forthcoming, encouraging, supportive, and of good humor. I lump these together as my 'Good Nature'. Within the context of my collective condition, my Good Nature is actually more challenged by when my mental faculties are struggling than by my physical difficulties, although my physical difficulties are still plenty distressing. This indicates that my Good Nature is what I actually base my sense of self-worth on and correlate my self-esteem with, then secondly my mental faculties, and lastly my physical abilities. This provides me with a perspective of my mental and physical capabilities being important but not the most important things that make me who I am. I consider my strongest mental abilities to be intelligence, perception, understanding, intuition, cognition, and problem solving. When these abilities are not working properly, it can be frustrating and scary for me. I feel confused and/or cut off, and worst of all, like I can't trust my own judgment. My anxiety about this has been reaffirmed by those who have gaslighted and invalidated me in the past. Currently I am working to regain my Self – Trust by listening to myself, fact checking, keeping some sort of record of how accurate my perceptions turn out to be, keeping in mind that my Good Nature is my greatest strength rather than my worst weakness, and taking care of myself. Trusting others reasonably becomes possible through healthy self-trust. My physical abilities have drastically decreased in recent years, and even what I can or can not do currently can fluctuate significantly from one day to the next. The following three categories are based on my current physical abilities. On my worst days I can usually still do essential tidy up and self-care, some relaxation and meditation, enjoy watching a show or looking at photos (e.g. of Nature, travel, etc.), cuddle up or stretch out as needed, and eat simple foods. During my average days I can do all that plus enjoy being outside, walk some, stretch some and do physical therapy practices, do full housework and basic self-pampering, enjoy photographing moments and experiences, do light reading and/or writing, handle errands if driven to and fro, basic cooking, music, art, poetry, and comfortable conversations. On what are now my best days I can do all that plus walk a lot, dance some, do intermediate level Hatha yoga asanas, comfortably read and/or write, enjoy fully engaging conversations about anything (including even very disturbing topics), do simple crafts artfully, take care of errands on foot alone, cook a bit more creatively, sing some, work on an ongoing project, enjoy a little wine / etc., and even feel like modeling for the camera occasionally. Fortunately all the simple pleasures I enjoy most in Life still fall within this range of my ability to Live, which becomes more apparent when I consider my Purpose within an As Is Here And Now context. I am too different now from the way I was for past achievements and duties to continue having prominent applicability now. I am proud I got through my past with the abilities that I did have, and grateful that the circumstances that necessitated those abilities are now overwith in an immediate environment sense. What is applicable now is what has been making be happiest, proudest, and most passionate about myself and my life in my current condition and circumstances. I am happiest when I'm home, laughing, out exploring, hiking in Nature, enjoying scenic photography, music (nearly all kinds, but especially for singing and/or dancing with), and/or in Night (inc. in the City). I am proudest of myself for not giving up, for my Good Nature, that I am Truly Loving of individual people other than just for their roles in life, and that I frequently show people new things within their familiar environments. I admire people who are dedicated to helping at least one other person, Love Nature, have a Good Nature and Humor complimentary with (but not necessarily identical to) mine, and work on being as healthy as capable inside and out most of the time. I feel most vitalized and frequently inspired by Nature, ruins and old cemeteries, the Night, music, firelight, and Far Eastern (especially Japanese) material traditions and spiritual insights. I feel at least somewhat happy in many moments on most days, usually about loved ones and/or simple pleasures. If I had one more week to live, I would want to spend time with my loved ones, some at home, and some in a cabin by the lake with walks in the surrounding forests. I want Eco-Sanity with Style, Quality Public Education, and Universal Health Care for everyone on Earth. For myself, I want to develop my self-acceptance so I can Live my present fully, truly, and even blissfully.

Meanwhile ...

Meanwhile, this week I'm rolling out of the weekend flu through PMS into my menstrual period lol Weeeeee! The GOOD NEWS is that I'm already experiencing symptoms of ovarian cyst resolution, so that IS actually fantastic. I need to get a lot better about accepting and adapting my physical ups and downs so that it isn't dragging my psyche along with it so severely. That will help a lot and is one of many things I'm addressing right now.

Where It's At

It's coming up on a month this week since the big confrontation, which, against all odds, seems to have been the boot to the head that was needed on both sides. We've been in touch low key behind the scenes for the past couple weeks or so. Earl has actually been making legit personal progress and is using great tools. At this point the big trick is to make it stick for the long run. In contrast, I'm still struggling quite a bit on my end, but what I'm dealing with is obviously a bit different. We are NOT suddenly back in full swing. In fact we won't even be able to be in regular contact and/or visit in person really for months due to bigger picture factors, which helps reinforce our need to focus on individual development right now. Fortunately we do seem to be consistently supportive toward each other through our individual healing processes effortlessly. Once we've been able to heal ourselves more and with reasonable consistency, we may even be able to heal our incomparable relationship in time. For now, I'm grateful to have my special friend back in our supportive correspondence capacity, and find his personal work to be an inspiration to continue really sticking to my own. Life is a hot mess at least half the time. None of us are perfect. Most of us are forgivable. Being honest and focusing on what really matters makes all the difference. So that's where it's at.

Friday, May 19, 2017

Walking

Wednesday, Yesterday, and Today I have been able to enjoy a 4 mile round trip stroll along the Lake each day. I'm still not feeling great physically, but even just this much of an improvement is something I'm very grateful for. I love the way the cool breeze feels, the soft light of the overcast sky, the smell of the water, and the way the water sounds when it laps across the rocks as I stroll through the grass between the piles and the path. I never really crawled as an infant. I made a very late attempt then skipped it. Instead, when I was 10 months old, one day I stood up, and then a couple days later, I began walking. I've always loved walking, especially close with Nature. It's been an integral part of how I enjoy Life since the beginning.

My Old MO

As it turns out, the way I still cook (understanding ingredients and then intuitively combining them, rather than using recipes) and have performed and taught dance professionally in the past (understanding the specific ranges of motion for each and every joint and their physiological relationships with each other, as taught to me through A & P when I certified in massage therapy, and then combining them improvisationally, such as in dance meditation, rather than using choreography) are specifically suitable for helping people with Sensory Processing Disorder > Dyspraxia be able to both learn and effectively manage mental and/or physical tasks, especially tasks that require sequencing and coordination. Part of me has already known one of the most effective methods for dealing with Sensory Processing Disorder > Dyspraxia for many years. Now I can consciously implement this method with focused attention throughout various aspects of my life. Realizing this drastically reduces and potentially negates that sense of helplessness I've been struggling with for so long.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Just Be (Continued)

I am presently unable to sleep because I am so fixated on this new understanding of myself. I can actually go on and on about how many characteristics I have that correlate with aspects of Dyspraxia. This includes many things I've always liked about myself, such as being a usually quite good intuitive cook who understands ingredients rather than being able to follow a finite recipe, being a giddily spontaneous immersive radial explorer rather than someone with strong (or really much of any) directional sense who can follow linear paths, and so on. In contrast, I do dislike having sudden vertigo type experiences frequently when dealing with slopes and escalators, and almost never remembering where someone else has parked the car (I don't drive for now evermore obvious reasons). Repeated exposure over the years to the causes for the worst of my Dyspraxic sensations, especially of Vestibular nature, have never amounted to anything better than torture and increased phobia toward those experiences. The motor coordination issues I have, which have always come and gone in the past, are now much more frequent and worse, such as missing what I'm reaching for, dropping things, temporary immobility and/or numbness of body parts, etc., and yet I still have moments when my agility is suddenly remarkable and I'm even able to flow through rather complex linear spatial sequences uninhibitedly. It cuts in and out. I have an equal but different difficulty trying to communicate in the moment, both expressing my own thoughts and being able to understand what someone else is trying to tell me, that is more frequent now too and to a notably worse degree, yet I can recall and express long term memories and recognize old in jokes, familiar homages, etc. without any trouble at all most of the time. What really drives the probability of Dyspraxia home is that all of this is well – established while I continue to remain remarkably youthful even for my not really old yet anyway age (I'll turn 45 on August 7th of this year). I'm still showing no signs of perimenopause, etc. All of my hormonal shifts are definitely brought on by ovarian cyst recurrence. Any haggardness in my appearance is always the direct result of excess stress (particularly when I'm dealing with bouts of mostly unexplained Chronic Neuropathic Pain and/or ovarian cyst symptoms), lack of much needed rest and/or sleep, and/or sinus problems. In summary, many aspects of Dyspraxia actually describe many significant characteristics about me and most likely explains why other things have surprisingly turned out to not be wrong with me at this time, such as Multiple Sclerosis. When considering myself as having Dyspraxia, I am now suddenly able to understand why I have nearly all of the 'weaknesses' I do, but also many, perhaps even most of what I regard as my 'strengths'. This is the first time I've ever been able to honestly begin thinking of my medical issues in terms of being Differently Abled rather than just crippled and crazy. While this comes with a mixed bag of emotions, of course, I do sense some genuine relief surfacing because the full range of how I do process things, for better or worse, now feels Validated for the first time ever, and rather than trying to fix myself or compensate for how I'm different, I CAN actually imagine accepting myself as I am and start experimenting with living more truly to my distinctions. Cheers :)

Just BE

Recently-ish my Daughter posted an article about Dyspraxia, which seemed A LOT like the trouble I've been having with my mental faculties recently. However, Dyspraxia is typically diagnosed during childhood, so I didn't consider it as such to be a likely part of my condition. WELL, I stand corrected. Dyspraxia, when further specified in my case as mostly Sensory Processing Disorder especially of the Vestibular System, can present well into adulthood, including in cases where Multiple Sclerosis has been ruled out (at least for the time being) such as with me (my doctor and I were shocked). FURTHERMORE, there HAS actually been evidence of Dyspraxia, especially when accounting for problems with the Vestibular System, in me since I was a toddler. For example, I've been deathly terrified as my worst imaginable hell of tire swings (both kinds) and all other forms of spinning in suspension since I was a toddler. I feel 'surrounded' and like people and/or things are 'closing in on me' in stores frequently (especially grocery stores and similar high volume businesses), and then have trouble navigating my way through properly, feeling like I'm in the way of everything while I get clumsier and have more and more trouble seeing properly around me. While I used to be a good dancer in the past, it was always improvisational dancing, never choreographed because I've ALWAYS been terrible at even following let alone remembering choreography (I began studying dance officially the summer I turned 5 years old; when I performed and taught dance professionally as an adult, I never bothered with choreography instruction, emphasizing individual development and partner play), which results from working memory and sequencing issues that are primary to Dyspraxia. While I have gone through therapy for PTSD in the past (for which I am eternally grateful), I still struggle with anxiety and depression specifically related to my ongoing medical issues now, and am currently resolving to be more committed to Cognitive Behavior Therapy techniques I took a class for and know can definitely help, but now focusing a great deal more on As Is type Acceptance. Unfortunately there's no cure and no legitimately recognized treatments that produce significant let alone reliable results, so NO, strapping me to a tire swing will NOT solve anything EVER save for possibly helping me overcome my inhibitions regarding violent cannibalism once I've chewed myself free. The only thing Dyspraxia, especially as specified above, does not account for is my Chronic Neuropathic Pain, which remains unexplained when occurring in parts of my body other than my upper limbs (which have taken specific damages) and not being obviously associated with sinus problems and/or recurring ovarian cysts (and related hormone imbalance symptoms). Typically Chronic Pain conditions of any sort shorten ones lifespan by about a decade on average. Unfortunately, there are lots of cases of unexplained Chronic Pain, and aside from Opiates (which I've sworn to putting off until the very end of my days), there is no real treatment for aside from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and focusing on As Is Acceptance. THE ONLY EXPLANATION SO FAR FOR WHY I'VE BEEN GETTING WORSE IS POOR STRESS MANAGEMENT RELATED TO LACK OF SELF – ACCEPTANCE ON MY PART, so the only way for me to reduce my current state of degeneration is to be as accepting and unstressed about it as possible. UGH. Ok. The upside is that once I do get reliably practiced with that, I will have a chance at actually living long enough to get old, maybe not super old, but at least oldish, which I happen to value a great deal without desiring prematurely, so long as nothing otherwise comes along to kill me beforehand. Now for the bad news. There is no way in hell that the local hospital that supposedly does take my bottom of the barrel state provided insurance through the ACA is willing to test me more for a diagnosis. I was already referred for further testing by my doctor when Multiple Sclerosis was ruled out by a lumbar puncture, and that facility completely disregarded (“deprioritized indefinitely”) that referral, on top of already having disallowed more than half of the testing that had been ordered for me originally by the neurology clinic within that facility. Until this nation matures enough to embrace Universal Health Care / Coverage like ALL other not – third – world nations around the globe already have, I will not get an official diagnosis for my pre-existing condition, let alone any potential help for what I'm dealing with or disability 'benefits' such as income support through normal levels of taxation (which have always been relatively VERY low and rarely allocated well in the USA). In the meantime, I am grateful for when I can still walk enough, read and/or write ok enough, just BE enough for me.

Monday, May 15, 2017

My Health & Fitness Update

I have gained back half the weight I'd lost, so that weight loss was superficial at best and probably symptomatic unfortunately rather than a sign of progress. During the course of this past Friday I ended up with a massive amount of intense symptoms of ovarian cyst recurrence. On Saturday I mostly felt exhausted and like I had a virus. Yesterday, which was wonderful thanks to my Daughter and the Kitties despite all this, I went through a lot of R/R MS 'like' symptoms, especially shooting pains throughout various parts of my body, etc. Needless to say that today I am just grateful to be able to enjoy getting caught up on housework and stuff, and am trying to be as comfortable as I can be now that I'm having a mix of my ongoing medical conditions (including that frequent virus feeling) which, fortunately, is not yet quite as severe today. I am trying to make peace with the idea of best possible self - management rather than pretending I can 'get back into shape' in any real way, but I'm having trouble keeping my spirits steady, let alone 'up' lol. I need to do a lot of soul searching right now to feel ok enough within myself instead of letting my hope and confidence be completely shattered in a way that is as prematurely unrealistic as trying to 'get well' would be. I promise not to fully disconnect or anything, but I'm probably gonna be a bit quiet for at least a couple days. I hope everyone has a good week!

Akira Sushi

Below is a photo of the amazing sushi feast my Daughter Katana ordered to have delivered to us for Mother's Day yesterday through our beloved Akira. https://www.facebook.com/akiranola/

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Spider's Teaching Dream

I have had two dreams this weekend in which Spider Totem has taught me that Fear is like a Brown Recluse, so much larger, stronger, and faster than expected in the moment, emerging to snatch away Hope and Confidence, Faith and Trust, its bite bringing paralysis and necrosis inside its fatal trap. I am not Fear nor can I pretend to transform Fear into something it is not, being that it is a pure force of Nature known to all creatures. However, I can take Courage in hand like a Stone to Crush Fear with. No matter how powerful Fear seems in the moment, it is actually a relatively small thing compared to all that I am and can sense around me. I am very grateful to Spider Totem for teaching me this.

Happy Mother's Day to All of Us Mamas!


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Hope and Confidence

I did walk and sunbathe Thursday, but yesterday I took a break from everything and just enjoyed the rainstorms from the comfort of my new home. I have redone my room. Reconnecting with my French interests has reflexively re-integrated my Far Eastern interests as well finally. If you don't see the connection there, I only have two words for you: Musée Guimet ;) The back patio will be set up properly probably today. Tomorrow will be Bendidia (concluding my work with Bendis for which I'm very grateful), Katana's and my First Monthversary in our new apartment, and Mother's Day :D I'm grateful to have good and fun things going on right now. I continue to be happy with the progress I'm making with my health and fitness. I'm feeling both hope and confidence (at the same time even) about going forward. Cheers!

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Vesākha / Vesak

Today, the 10th of May, the Full Moon occurs in Scorpio, and thus Vesākha / Vesak is being celebrated in Sri Lanka, Cambodia, India, Bangladesh, Singapore, Thailand, Myanmar and Malaysia to commemorate the birth, enlightenment (Buddhahood), and death (Parinirvāna) of Gautama Buddha in the Theravada tradition. Here is the Wiki Quickie about that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vesak

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

8 Miles

This morning I decided to go ahead and push myself a bit more. As a result, I walked 8 Miles round trip, including the loop and more at West End Park plus the Breakwater Park extension beyond the far harbor. After that I came home, showered and hydrated, then sunbathed for an hour (half an hour on each side) with a few no fuss adjustments to minimize potential tan lines. While not everything about this song applies to my life (thank goodness for that blessing!), there is a spirit to its essence that certainly does apply right now, and with having achieved 8 Miles today, it got stuck in my head. https://youtu.be/vksfnZaZ0A4

National Teacher Day


Happy National Teacher Day! :D I am extremely proud of my Daughter Katana and all her hard work, determination, compassion, and vision. It is because of teachers like her that children, along with the rest of us, still have a chance at building a future worth fighting for, worth LIVING for. Unlike any other form of education, Public Education is available to EVERYONE and is thereby what specifically maintains the ability of our society as a whole to keep working and improving, making it the most valuable resource to EVERYONE regardless of background and income bracket. Public Education and the Teachers who keep providing it to our country despite the tremendous challenges they face every moment of every day from all directions deserve Respect, Gratitude, and All the Ongoing Support we can muster so that this most valuable resource can keep going, can get better and better, and with it, ALL of US.  http://www.nea.org/grants/teacherday.html

Monday, May 8, 2017

Physical Fitness Update

Physical Fitness Update: Over the past week I have lost 10 lbs., so I am halfway to my goal. However, it's the other 10 lbs. that will be tougher to shed. Also, I do not want to lose too much. I am working on muscle tone, and muscle weighs more than fat. I am not pushing myself too hard. I actually rested like a happy little slob all weekend aside from a little yoga, a bit of housework (I got caught up this morning for real), and going to the grocery store, which Katana drove for, so none of that really counts as physical exertion. Last week I walked 3 to 5 miles each of 5 days, plus some PT adapted toning exercises and stretching as a combo workout at home. This week I'm walking 4 to 6 miles each of 5 days plus the same sort of combo workout at home. I felt great after my South Shore stroll today. I hydrated and then began sunbathing on my back patio. I have a farmer's tan (face, neckline, and outer arms), but am otherwise as white as the Moon. I'm going gently, just 15 minutes on each side today to start. I covered my face with a hand towel while laying on my back. I'll gradually do more. Once I've conditioned the rest of the skin on my body for coping with sunlight I'll be able to enjoy the swimming pool here. My tanning efforts are more pragmatic than vain. I'm saving the use of the little gym room next to the pool for stormy days when I can't get out and walk. Anyway, I'm definitely making progress while fully accommodating my medical issues. Yay!

Merci, Msr. Pres. Emmanuel Macron!

Merci, Msr. Pres. Emmanuel Macron!


Saturday, May 6, 2017

My Line

On May 3, 2017 my Coffee and Tarot Card was the Wheel of Fortune (upright / positive), the card of destiny, karma, and related progress. At that time I could not think what that could have been referring to. A couple of days later, while feeling very fortunate for having moved to this specific location on April 14, 2017, I suddenly recalled the astrocartography map a former acquaintance had generated for me during the Winter of 2016. Unfortunately I did not keep that file. However, I clearly remember(ed) that singular vertical line that crossed Metairie at a slightly NE to SW angle, intersecting near the beginning of the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway. It was the ONLY line for me through this section of North America in contrast to other areas such as Northern California, where there were lots, which fit with my origins and past. I also remembered the name of the software used to generate that file. I went to that website, but what was available to me for free was not nearly as localized and specific as what the software had produced, and paying for what would reproduce the original file is not an option for me right now. Instead I have recreated my own local astrocartography map showing my one special line here. That line passes right through my daughter's and my new apartment at Chateaux DiJon and several other places that have been important to me here in some personal and/or practical way, such as the Marriott Hotel at 6th and Causeway and La Madeleine Country French Café, Breaux Mart, and Lager's International Ale House along Severn Avenue. That line extends beyond this map NNE to Fontainebleau State Park on the other side of Lake Pontchartrain, which I have loved very much. In other words, I am now finally specifically aligned with what I am especially suited for here. All other places in the Greater New Orleans Area that I have an affinity for radiate at variably harmonious angles from this singular 'home base' astrocartography line. I strongly suspect that this particular recollection was what my Coffee and Tarot Card on  May 3, 2017 May 3, 2017 was referring to.


Life - Blood


Wednesday, May 3, 2017

The Wheel of Fortune

My Coffee and Tarot Card this morning reads "Wheel of Fortune: The path of destiny. Good karma on a grand scale. An unexpected turn of good fortune. A strong link in the chain of events. Success, luck, and happiness." Hmmm ... maybe, but yeah, I have no idea what this could be referring to right now. However, I am enjoying walking 3 to 5 miles to start plus working out at home every day. I saved $6.00 by improving my hair oil with stuff I have on hand (this little alchemical experiment actually went VERY well, so Yay!), which was fortuitous because the wonderful women at the thrift store had mercy on me and let me purchase a posh frock for only $6.00 that fits me great now and will still fit great as I get back into shape. This dress makes me feel like the elegant side of Downton Abbey (~ WWI > 1920's) > Gosford Park (1930's) for a change lol  I look forward to sharing self-portraits of me modeling this sometime soon. Anyway, in this sense I am feeling like I'm on a good track of self-improvement at least. I'm very grateful for that and for my little family and new home. I just don't feel any sort of present foundation for a future forming yet, and it's probably gonna be awhile before I do.